Matrix at Terminator.
Ang future ng human race na walang future. Kung ‘di mo pa napapanood, go see the picture. Kung napanood mo na, alam mo na siguro ang plot kung saan nag advance ang artificial intelligence o AI for short ng mga robot to the point na pointless na kung iku-kwento ko pa.
‘Langyah!
Science fiction ‘yon…. hanggang sa dumating ang episode na ito…more than a month ago….
‘Da Rice of the Matchings!’ este…
‘The Rise of the Machines!’
May mabuting kalooban na nagbigay sa akin ng isang pinaglumaang smartphone. Windows’ base mobile OS. Astig ang bilis ng mahigit kumulang 480 MHz kaysa sa CPU ng No Kilya 6630 ko. Lamang ng 3 Megapixel ang kamera. Mas matalino ng 16.54 Gigabytes ang internal memory at touch screen pa at may accelerometer, may flash ang kislap at kumikislap ang flash, may mobile office at outlook email stuff etchetera etc., pdf reader, weather forecast, Wi-fi at boom boom paw paw blah blah blah. Agad kong inilipat ang sim card ko sa bago niyang libingan sabay kalso ng luma kong cellphone sa paang hindi pantay at uuga-ugang computer table ko.
‘OK pa ba ‘to?’ Tanong ko sa nagbigay habang pinadudulas ko ang pawisang daliri ng kaliwa kong kamay sa resistive tats iskrin ng pown at abala naman sa pagpupunas ng laway ang kanan kong kamay na tumutulo mula sa aking bibig dahil sa nakakamanghang features na hindi ko akalaing kaya palang gawin ni Hell Gates sa ganito kaliit na device. Technology at your fingertips.
Patay na si Duking.
Call me…Neo. Now!
I am the Wan!
Site after site. Forum after forum. Doon naubos ang unang tatlong araw ko simula ng amazing discovery ko sa kakaibang mundo ng smartphone. Install dis, dump dat. Format hir, re-format der. Connect dis, Sync dat. Samtins within me tells me i need to write like i used to but ders a voice inside me who keeps tellin’ me pak dat shit! dis is da way to roll now! Kool…
Hell, i even speakin’ english…way to go, munggo!
Downloads. Downloads. Downloads!
Themes. Application. Mobile computing. Games.
Themes. Application. Games.
Themes. Games.
Games.
Games.
Games.
2 weeks later, na realize ko na mas smart ako kaysa sa ‘tang-inang smartphone na ‘to. Na-control ako. Nadaya. Ginamit. Pinag-laruan.
Sabi nga ni Einstein ay…
…
Errr. Wala pala akong alam sa sinabi ni Einstein.
Scratch dat… Wala akong paki-alam sa kahit anung sanabi ni Einstein.
Impak…Fuck Einstein!
And fuck everyone who thinks they are geniuses inventing useless shits like the atomic bombs and stuffs, the computers, the mobile phones and all these things necessary but not. Hu-du-dey-tink-dey-ar?! Fuck everyone even Webster who thinks he knows the definition of shits. Fuck Darwin, fuck the evolution and fuck the revolution. Fuck the church, fuck the government, fuck the religion. Hell, I’ll even fuck the spellling the way i want it to but i’ll spare it because i love litter-leisure so much. Spare my ass…Fuck the spellling!
Pak!
Ginising ako ng sarili kong kababalik pa lamang mula sa paglalayas.
Ginising ako sa isang panaginip na kalaunang naging bangungot.
Gising na ako. Gising na gising. Gising na gising na at ready nang pumunta ng mall. Para bumili ng next level na smartphone.
Anu yown?
Ganun na lang ba yown? Nakakalibang kayang maging ‘teki’. Some sing kapag gusto nilang malibang. Ako-Samsung!
Android. Froyo. The works, mamen. Da works….
Lalalala…Balik sa forum-site-forum-site review and tutorials on ‘haw-tu-du-dis-haw-tu-du-dat’.
Lalalala…Wi-fi? Check!
Lalalala…Free web browsing? Check!
Lalalala…Downloads. Downloads. Downloads!
Lalalala…Themes, Application, Mobile computing, Games!
Lalalala…Themes, Application, Games!
Lalalala…Themes, Games!
Lalalala…Games!
Lalala…Games!
Lala…Games!
La…Games!
La…
‘La na.
Kakasawa na. Oras na para mag reverse engineering. Simulan sa software. I-tweak ang OS. Turn it off. Turn it on.
Puta!!!!! Putaaaaaaaa!!!!
Logo na lang ang lumalabas?!
PUTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Covered ng warranty nga pala. Buti sana kung mura lang. I-cha charge to experience ko na lang. Pero one month pay ko yun. With overtime!
PUTA…little more emphasize sa PUTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
‘Sir, we regret to inform you that you’re unit is not covered with any of our existing warranty policy for product replacement or repair due to the evidence of tampering and reverse engineering and or violation of TOS as evident on log attemp to alter the software as found by our technician who attended your unit.’
PUTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
‘Brick’ ang term para sa deadset electronic equipment.
Brick.
Brick Game.
Brick fucking game.
Para lang akong nabagsakan ng bato sa ulo.
This time, gising na talaga ako. So much of the smartphone who outsmarted me.
Naalala ko bigla yung Nokilya 6630 ko. Ang ever reliable kong phone. May SMS at pwedeng pantawag. Na realize ko na yun lang ang kailangan ko.
Saka mas mahusay kasi yata akong mag doodle sa gegewang-gewang na computer table.
I know. I know.
You love to see me comes back but you hate that i’m around.
Especially umi-inglish inglish pa ako na akala mo na galing ako from a bloody trip to england. Bullocks. Sandra. Whatever. Tang-ina.
oh, my doodles! 